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I would suggest that you show you are being approached by guys too, not so much telling him directly, more along the lines of using social media where guys would comment on your photos about how great you look and you can like their comment or acknowledge them. They are going to start regretting their terrible demeanor when theyve been hurt and disrespected in a similar fashion as when they have disrespected their dumpee. He might be too scared to admit he still has feelings for you outright. Following the break-up, I begged him for another opportunity, (which was wrong). The car salesman is going to slide you an outrageous offer thats WAY higher than what you had in mind. There is no more love between you but you realize your ex wants to stay friends and a friendship begins to blossom. You are merely stating that this is how much youre prepared to give to a person who doesnt see you as an equal. Laura Dern, right, and her mother Diane Ladd have adapted a series of their conversations into the new book Honey, Baby, Mine. All you can do is go full no contact and wait for her to process the breakup. It's a masochistic deed for those who enjoy self-torture. She has to text first and lead more conversations. Meaning wed agree not to see anyone or sleep around during that time. Allow your ex to guide you, and not vice versa. answer #2 Hana 11 years ago But how you can be sure if she really wants a friendship. As Im sure youve understood, this article is principally about getting back together. Needless to say, having those traits and taking initiative with your ex doesnt work well together. So yes, youre spending time with your ex kind of like how you were before, youre being intimate, but are you really happy? Its hard to say because right now shes in a very smothered state. You need to leave her alone until she becomes afraid, realizes your worth, and comes back. We chit chat a little bit and I asked her out. Unfortunately, my ex walked out on us, we were arguing a lot as I was pulling him and he was pushing. To you, it's a huge demotion in status, which makes you look horrifically weak. Whatever the case, months later, he is now sending you messages and friend requests out of nowhere. Thats because its designed not to be easy. For other people it's out of the question to continue to see their ex, especially not as a friend! If he reaches out to chat or meet up should i respond or have a good solid period of NC again? More often than not, when an ex tells you that they want to be friends with you, they really just want to remain cordial after the breakup so they can retain some semblance of a relationship with you. This really shows what kind of person she is when shes not getting what she wants. So it is the minimum respect. Required fields are marked *. Then proceeded to tell me he wants to just be friends and does not want more than that. Instead, you went out and rebuilt your life. Nearly four years ago . We both agree Im taking a gamble, a stupid gamble that after reading articles and articles look like it doesnt work lol but Im still here. Instead, it was their feelings about their ex and about the breakup that predicted contact: People were more likely to communicate with exes they still had feelings for. Since then I stopped drinking & now have some control over my insecurities. I find it now that may be She only wants to be free from the utter guilt of doing something bad to me as a partner and a person by checking on me. PS. Since shes an ex, she doesnt need nor want you around anymore. These preferred personal traits are of course dependent on each individual. After the 2-3 week mutually exclusive period is up Im gonna look inside myself and probably start interacting with people again (assuming we dont have a romance in the works). Even if he is reaching out if it is meaningless reach outs keep ignoring him but it is a good sign that he is looking to talk to you. Ex says she will always love me and care for me. 2. You should spend the time after your breakup, making yourself your number one priority, so a man never has the power to hurt you so deeply again. 3 Ways Being Friends With Your Ex Leads To Getting Back Together - Yangki Breakups tend to bring out the worst in people as they cycle through the stages of grief and find it impossible to focus on anything else. As you know, people dont tend to learn much the nice way. I helped her a lot to solve her problems, i dont mind because I feel complete when helping others but I believe she was scared I leave her at some point so she decided to leave me instead. You deserve more. At some point he has to move on! In doing so, you open the doors of communication again by silently telling him Im totally fine, and we can talk like normal people again.. I dont want to read too much into these, but they do give me hope. So how can you climb out of this friends zone when your ex wants to be friends with you? Furthermore, you will see that they don't . Its possible he started seeing/talking to other people and got a huge raise to the ego. Could you be dating someone else and youre actually happier without him? I get it, it can be too much. She still would like to FaceTime in the afternoons and nights after work. Currently, she and her new gf harass me at uni, where we all go. In my experience there are two things your ex might be thinking when they say lets just be friends.. Its the opposite of what you want, but letting go is good for you. I have stopped talking about our relationship, but in the beginning when he left I would ask if he wanted to try to reconcile and he would just answer I dont know. LOL 1 year later I stopped it again. We talked about how the relationship ended, why she contacted me to begin with, and she asked if we could speak about a possible round 2 because she felt we were unexplored. Your ex regrets breaking up with you and is probably longing to reconnect with you. You need to send your condolences and go into another No Contact, this time not speaking with him for a solid 30 days. Fast forward a few months and his mom passed away. Think about what could have happened differently. I had a similar situation. To know more about Clay, visit his website below. So essentially, they just really want to be friends. That's not how you should be treated. How should I go about the situation!? So I negotiated this, I would be fine starting as her friend but I would want 2-3 weeks of mutual exclusivity. Said could we be friends and just speak now and then. Id better stay out of this. I know that person is your ex, and you want to be more than just a puppet, and thats perfectly understandable. One could even say its karma striking, and now hes on a mission to fix what he broke. Exceptions To The No Contact Rule, Begged and Pleaded With Your Ex Already? Very often, exes want even less than that. One of the best signs your ex regrets breaking up with you is when your ex craves and/or demands your attention. I was being nice because fran. Subliminally, your partner or your ex-partner look for things that will help them grow and get the most out of their life. Me and my girlfriend been in a relationship from past3.5 years and during this September she moved to UK for her masters. The interest level of this person has to be so high it evens out with your disinterest. Today Im going to dispel some myths about this post-breakup friend zone and make sure that you know what your ex means when he says this, and how you can use it to your advantage. If its better to not be in conflict with your ex, does it mean that its a good idea to be buddies?! I figured we would be back to no contact again. Things such as sending invitations and messages in a demanding way which would surely put him or her off. You and your ex are not friends, and moving into this position is not going to help you win your ex back. They are pictured above in Los Angeles in 2015. Any advice? In fact, you deserve all or nothing. He started staying out late , drinking with friends and some awkward behavior. It was life giving seeing so many different people together . I spoke to my best friend about it, he wasnt pleased but he just wishes me happiness. Regrets breaking up. First, let me normalize what you're going through. I do not know what to do because I do want to hear from him and be with him, but not be just friends. If your ex was cold and cruel during the breakup, he probably acted that way for a reason. I cant work out if the NC rule would apply here or not given that so much time has passed, it would be like blanking a friend, and might seem weird or dramatic? So, it is absolutely essential to take this time of no contact to clear your head (and let your ex clear his) before you consider any kind of friendship. Now, if you dont know what a no contact rule is, I have several articles, videos, and podcasts going in-depth about it, so I recommend scrolling through exboyfriendrecovery.com to read all about it. After the NC, he suggested for us to just be friends because he doesnt want to pursue a relationship with me, due to relationship burnout. There is no middle ground when it comes to exes. Youre thinking that the only way you can get close to your ex again is by getting in bed with them. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). I tried no contact for a little and he reached out and after I kept checking in because his family was going thru a hard time. Them giving you a no with this gesture can open up a great conversation that allows you to work your way back to their lives in a romantic way. My Ex Said We Would Stay Friends and Now They Ignore Me: What Should I Do. As long as your ex wants to be friends and only friends, you should exhibit very little interest. Lets just be friends is one of the most dreaded text messages someone can receive from their ex after a breakup, and if youre reading this, you probably know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of these words. There's always truth to the things we say, even the lies, at least some truth. How do you know? Thats just ridiculous and unfair that she is not acknowledging my genuine concern, interest. He simply doesnt like hurting you and feels bad for breaking your heart. On top of that, its not easy to meet someone new when youre still seeing your ex. He said talking to me helps him be a better person. If you're ready to try and get your ex back, here are some tips on doing so: Take your time before reaching out. Otherwise you agree dates and times that he sees the child and reply to baby is doing fine when he asks but otherwise ignore him.